Karen Spears Zacharias doesn’t think the book “Go the Fuck to Sleep” is funny. That by itself isn’t a big deal. People disagree about what is funny all the time. It does use language that some people are uncomfortable and it is a bit raw. She doesn’t just assert that it isn’t funny, however, which is where the problem lies. She manages to link it to racism and child abuse and in the process label those that would find it funny as bad parents.
She makes it clear right from the start what she thinks of people who find the book funny or worthwhile in any way. These are people who like something that is “crass in concept and execution.” They are also poor parents. She quotes an expert in child development who says “The people reading this book are educated parents, who actually care about their children and are frustrated that often their children don't behave the way storybooks display.” Then she opines that putting kids to bed has become harder, because “the sacred bedtime ritual of reading to children has gone away.” Parents who are frustrated with their children must be frustrated because they have the wrong expectations, or because they have done something else wrong like fail to read to their children. They take delight in this book because it speaks to their weaknesses, and in a way justifies them. It can’t possibly be that parenting is hard regardless of your expectations or qualifications. It can’t be that kids that are read to are still frustrating at bed time … and at other times too. These parents must be deficient, and the best thing to do is to make them feel guilty for being frustrated. The last thing we want to do is make them feel that their frustration is natural, that others feel the same way, and that it is OK to laugh at it. If they acknowledge how frustrating their children are they are demeaning their children
Ms. Zacharias is an ambitious sort, so she doesn’t stop with the ordinary guilt trip. She links the book, and frustrated parents, to child abuse. She very cleverly asserts that “Nobody is suggesting that there's a connection between Adam Mansbach's book and child abuse or child neglect.” Then, she goes on to suggest just that. She quotes the attorney in a child murder case about saying that she is unsettled by the book. What reason would she do that for, other than to suggest that there is a connection between the book and child abuse? Then she focuses in on the “violent” language, and links that to abuse. “For far too many kids, the obscenities found in Mansbach's book are a common, everyday household language. Swearing is how parents across the social, educational and economic strata express their disappointments or anxieties, their frustrations and outright anger at their children. Sometimes the biggest bully in the neighborhood lives in the same house you do. Sometimes it's your parent.” First she assumed this book and the audience it is finding are a symptom of the failure of parents to read to their children. Now she assumed that because you read a book that uses vulgar words to address children, a book that is clearly a spoof and meant for adults, that you must use those words towards your children and that the use of those words in any context is a sign of a greater depravity. What is it that they say about people who “assume.”?
Unbelievably, it gets better. Zacharias and her child development expert ask whether we would tolerate this kind of book written about Jews, Blacks, Muslims, or Latinos. Huh? That doesn’t even make sense. First of all, it is written about people in those groups, because they have children. Second, are children a race? Third, aren’t there books written about those groups all the time that poke fun at stereotypes and shared frustrations? Someone needs to tell Ms. Zacharias that this is not a book that tells parents it is OK to swear at their children. What it says is that it is OK for parents to be frustrated, and it gives them a safe and healthy outlet to vent their frustration. It is OK for parents to be frustrated. Children are wonderful and amazing gifts. My two kids are two of the best things that have ever happened to me. I am home with them full time, and cherish the time I have with them. I also read to dozens of books to them every day. They still frustrate me. And that is still OK. It is fucking OK.
Here is Zacharias' piece: http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/06/27/zacharias.kid.book/index.html?&hpt=hp_c2
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