John Darnielle captures my state of mind in the wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings when he sings:
"This song is for the soil
That's toxic clear down to the bedrock
Where no thing of consequence can grow
Drop your seeds there
Let them go"
(Mountain Goats - Cotton)
I know this is an overreaction on my part, and a cliche one at that, but as a parent I can't help thinking that the 'soil' in which my 'seeds' are somehow managing to grow isn't the best. I can't help wondering if my skill as a 'farmer' is entirely beside the point. I can't help wishing I could apologize to my children and have that mean something, even though I would be apologizing for something "I can't and won't feel sorry for."
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