Tom Corbett and cigarettes

Tom Corbet (I decided to take a t off of his name ... he had two, and we all have to sacrifice in this time of economic distress), the new governor of Pennsylvania, has decided to tackle the budget problems facing Pennsylvania by drastically reducing state funding of education, from kindergarten through to college. He pledged not to raise any taxes, and he isn't proposing to do so now. He won't even tax natural gas producers, who are operating free and clear of any environmental regulations.

At first I thought it was pretty stupid to not tax an extractive polluter, or raise any taxes at all, and instead slash funding for education, causing school districts, already short of funds, to cut programs and forcing colleges to raise tuition, which is already too high for many Pennsylvanians to afford. But then, the more I thought about, the more I realized that my problem was I was thinking of the future. Corbet is on to something. The future always seems to take care of itself somehow, why should we worry about it?

Now, I'm fully on board with Corbet. I even have a new idea for him. We need to encourage smoking. If we encourage people to smoke, maybe by allowing advertising again or subsidizing cigarette purchases or just calling on Pennsylvanians to start smoking, we will turn around our economy in no time. If more people buy cigarettes, that will increase tax revenue without raising taxes. It's pure genius. Plus, as long as we encourage people to smoke American, we will be benefiting the national economy. If we allow smoking inside buildings again, we will increase productivity. No more smoke breaks! The Governor could hire people to hand out cigarettes. Maybe teachers that are let go because of the cuts in funding for schools could take these positions. They could even hand them out at schools. You would only have to hand them out for a while. Once people were hooked, they would buy their own. We could have patriotic smoking posters, jingles, parades ... I think it's such a great idea, that I am going out right now to 7-11 to buy me some smokes, some Marlboros for me and some Virginia Slims for my wife. There isn't anything else to say about it, and I need to get smoking. I certainly am not going to worry about increased health care costs in the future. That is as silly as worrying about the future impacts of a slashed school budget. I have no time for that, and after a few packs I won't have the energy for it either. I'm with you Tom ... now let's get smoking!