Friday, October 22, 2010

Taking Back America

“We’re taking back America” is a popular refrain these days. Popular, but nonsensical. What is America? Who took it? Who exactly is the country being taken back from? What did they do with it?

The perpetrators of this travesty of logic never explain what they mean by America. Was the country physically taken? Did someone abscond with the Brooklyn Bridge and the Grand Canyon? Is it a copyright issue? Did someone take the name from us? Did we have it to begin with? Maybe we have ceased to be a democracy, and these kind folks running as Republicans are going to take it back. But aren’t they taking it back in an election? Aren’t elections usually found in democracies? Maybe someone has absconded with a symbol, like the flag. A lot of Americans do seem to think that the flag is the backbone of democracy rather than just a symbol. They often give it more reverence and protection than the freedoms and people it is supposed to symbolize. Maybe this is about the Constitution. Maybe the Constitution itself, and/or the freedoms protected by it have been taken away. I had thought all that Tea Party bluster about the Constitution was empty talk to get people riled up. Whatever it is, I guess I should be upset that it has been taken.
Who should I be upset at though? I guess the Democrats did it, so I should be upset at them. Those damn liberals. I’m not sure what a Liberal is, but I know that I should probably hate them. They must be like Nazis and Satan’s spawn the way they are talked about. There is no possibility that they are just Americans who want to the country to do well and just have a different opinion of how to do it. It’s a good thing the Republicans have refused to work with them to solve the problems facing the country.

So the evil Liberals have stolen something important from us, but who are us? Are we real Americans? Are they fake Americans? Does America belong only to us? Maybe we are the people, and they are just a few Liberal, unionized, communist teachers. What made them think they could have America? It’s not like they are citizens. Even if they are citizens, they’re not real citizens. They’re all Muslims. They all want to build their own house of worship in the country where they live, work, raise families, and were probably born. They have some nerve.

Before we get America back, I want to know more about what they did with it. They must have savaged it terribly. Obviously it was in great condition when they took it. I’m sure they did awful stuff like try to extend health coverage, bail out failing industries, and attempt to reform a financial sector that had just helped to usher in the worst depression in recent memory. How dare they!

I get it now. Count me in! Let’s get America back. While we’re at, it let’s take it way back. Let’s go back to when only white folks could vote and women stayed at home. I’m nostalgic for slavery and Polio too. Whatever we do, let’s not engage in real debate on the issues. Let’s avoid give and take and compromise like it was Polio. Let’s call each other names, and spend a lot of money doing it. Time’s a wasting we’ve got a country to take … back.

No comments:

Post a Comment